The Role of the Coordinator


I thoroughly enjoy being the coordinator of this meetup group. I see many women benefitted by the information and support given on the message boards. I mostly appreciated the friendships made through the meetups. I am thrilled to always be meeting new people and reacquainting myself with existing members. I like being the first person to contact new members and introduce them to the group.

Sometimes being the coordinator of the group carries its own burdens, however. For instance, it is troubling when I send an e-mail and get no response. I end up wondering, "Is my question just being dismissed or did I offend that person in some way which led her to no longer converse with me?" I have come to accept that e-mails often fall by the wayside. I won't pester a person who doesn't care to share.

At other times, the burdens are heavier. Some members are inclined to view the coordinator as the leader and / or representative of the group. I do not claim to represent all 100+ members. I perceive myself more as the greeter, event organizer, and group overseer. I make initial contact with new members, I schedule meetups, and I generally try to make sure that everything runs smoothly. I have not personally met any of the suggested doctors, I have never interviewed any midwives, and I have not even taken a tour (although I was once scheduled to) of the nearest birth center. I direct members to the resource pages and the message boards for that kind of information. The best I can offer is my own experience and some references to people who would likely be able to offer knowledge of whatever information new members are seeking.

Lastly, I would like to say that no member is required to get along with the coordinator in order to stay in the group. I do my best to help each member feel welcome and to direct them to what may be helpful. I can only do what I can do. I cannot be everything for everybody. While I do my best to show support to each member, some people are going to end up (most likely through a misunderstanding of words on the screen) to feel confused, hurt, offended, or just plain un-cared for. Again, please give me the benefit of the doubt until we have personally met. Besides, I am not the group.

Despite my best efforts of being the group greeter, organizer, and overseer, I realize that some people who come to the group are just bound to be disappointed. I am very open to suggestions and ideas. The group is what each member makes of it. I will apologize immediately and make amends if I recognize my actions as being insensitive or inadequate. I do expect members to act maturely, however, and I refuse to play mind games with people. If a member comes to me and expresses dissatisfaction over the group, yet never explains to me what her expectations are, what options do I have? I must conclude that that person's goal is to either (a) make me feel guilty for things that are outside of my control or (b) lead me to reject her out of sheer frustration caused by the misunderstanding. I maintain that each member is free to leave the group at any time. Unless someone is out-rightly causing discord within the group, I will not take it upon myself to dis-member anybody (nice pun there). If you are unhappy with the group, it is your responsibility to make suggestions or else leave.

The focus of this natural birth group is to encourage women to take responsibility for their births. We need to express our expectations to those around us -- to our doctors, our nurses, our midwives, our doulas, our husbands... indeed, to our very selves. When we decline to make our expectations known, when we stop short of ensuring that our goals are well-understood and agreed upon, then we have only ourselves to blame for our disappointments.

With all that plainly said, it is my sincere hope that every member contributes and comes away with something positive from the Louisiana Natural Birth Meetup Group. I look forward to watching it flourish.