I am feeling rather discouraged about my venture in doula-ing. I don't know where to begin. I am seemingly in contact with many expectant moms. I have passed out tons of cards, do the car magnet thing, and know people who have referred me to lots of preggo moms. I have yet to have one call to doula for anyone. This is disheartening, for a number of reasons. To start, I need three births to complete my certification. The clock is ticking on the year deadline for those births. I have gone to meet the nurses at the L & D and they seemed happy about there being a doula in the area. They acted eager to pass out my cards. One nurse who taught birthing classes at the hospital offered to have me come and speak to the class. Unfortunately, that call never came. I am not sure if there may have been a conflict of interest there w/ that particular nurse and whoever was over her.

There are no doulas here, and there never have been. Can one town be so incredibly different from a town that is an hour away? Most people I talk to have never heard of a doula. It is so strange to me! Even if some of these moms read a Parenting Magazine while waiting at the OB they would at least see SOMETHING about a doula.

This brings me to another point. Over the last few weeks, four moms I know personally gave birth. All of them were induced. Two of them had c-sections. All of these moms were having their first baby. I cannot say how this ruffles my feathers. One of these moms was induced for no medical reason, 1 month before her EDD. She was incredibly excited about meeting her baby early, with no concern whatsoever for the risks involved! I also know three more moms through other friends who were also induced this week. I am beginning to feel that women here are not concerned about facts. Statements like, "You do not have a medical degree, so I think I will listen to my doctor on this," seem to be the norm. I know that I do not have a medical degree, but even doctors vary greatly in their procedures from one practice to the next! Anyone who opens their eyes a little should see this variance! Someone is either practicing in the right or wrong! (I do not mean to sound as though I am going around telling moms how they should birth- but it seems if I even lightly mention the risks involved with certain interventions, these kind of responses follow) When there are certain guidelines given by the organizations they are supposed to comply with, and many docs are not doing that, shouldn't someone begin to ask questions? Does anyone even care?

I am sorry you are running into this. And it is not just your town. Even here where there is a presence of natural birthers, doulas, and midwives the normal response I get is the same "what do YOU know?". It is frustrating.

Sounds like you need to keep making yourself visible in the community. Eventually you will pick up a client and then another and another. It sounds like the problem is mostly due to women not seeing the need, probably sounds nice to them but they just dont' realize the impact it would have or what the actual benefits are. Doing a class and getting in with the local hospitals is a great idea, you should continue to persue that. Holding movie nights every so often could help also...showing BOBB or Orgasmic Birth....or just other films that introduce what birth could be like. This is a non confrontational way to get women in the door and give them something to think about. You could advertise a drawing or raffle or something for those that attend. Maybe give away a handmade sling to the winner. Offer light refreshments, show the movie and then do a small talk after or have someone share a birth experience. Get them to really explore the way they view birth, and then challenge them to want something more.

these are just some ideas off the top of my head. hope that helped some.

Don't give up! You are going to break through, if you have heard the calling it is for a reason, don't get too discouraged and know that you will make a difference. The things in life that are the hardest to obtain often come the biggest rewards.

Thank you, Amy. You've got my wheels spinning on a couple of things. We did watch the Business of Being Born here, but it ended up having to be at a home because our library will not let us meet there. It has been challenging to find a public location with a TV. I have some ideas swimming around, though.

I am beyond thankful that Susannah and I have been able to teach the childbirth/ breastfeeding class at the Crisis Pregnancy Center here. I am not only praying that some moms will truly absorb the info given, but also that there will be some moms come through that see the benefit of a doula.

So why won't the Library let you meet there? Will they for non-profit groups?

What about a local church?

Hang in there. It might take some time. Teaching a "comfort measures for labor" class might help, maybe getting your childbirth educator certification, too? (I know, more certifications...ugh!).

Maybe a blog?

Guest article in a local newspaper?

A Miss-Lou natural birth Facebook page?

just brainstorming here.

local paper is a good idea. Since it's a small town, might be easy to get them do a story on a natural birth with the assistance of a doula, or host some sort of LNB event and have that written about.

I spoke with a friend of mine in Texas who just saw BOBB and is planning on having a VBAC. She hasn't been to any sort of labor classes and since her first was a planned C-section, I suggested she hire a doula. She though doulas were just for home births. Once I explained to her all the different things they could help with including at the hospital she was interested and is looking into it.

My point is that there is a lot of misconception out there about who doulas are and what they can do for you. I know it's an uphill battle, but I think it's important to try and get the word out. Many of my friends are pregnant right now, and most of them are only moderatly satisfied with their care at this point. Yet none of them seem to actively seek out ways they could improve things. It's very frustrating to watch. I try to make small suggestions when the opportunity presents itself.

I also heard of a friend of a friend that used a doula when she delivered at Woman's earlier this year. I'll see If I can find more info about that.

Keep trying! BR really does need more options such as this.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm the only Doula in Ruston and run in to this kind of thing all the time. All my friends in real life could care less about educating themselves on birth and just do whatever the doctor tells them.

I feel your pain!

Brandi
www.deepsouthdoula.com

Amy: I think the newspaper idea would be great! I have thought of that before, but I thought it would probably be good to have a few births under my belt before they write up an article about it. I will talk to Susannah (her hubby is a journalist for the newspaper) and see what we can come up with.

Alexis: I totally agree. I think women just aren't aware that there are choices. I was just as oblivious with my first birth. Had someone really explained to me the benefit of a doula during birth, I would have no doubt been looking for one! I believe with everything in me that I would have ended up with the birth I wanted if I would have had the support of a doula. Informing moms in a manner that they will absorb and not lash out, is a challenge. I think we live in a time when women are extremely sensitive on these topics. Maybe it is because of a feeling of inadequacy if they don't think they are able to measure up to some standard. No wonder they feel that way- most women talk of natural childbirth as being right there in line with the worst kind of torture. It is treated as though it is almost an impossibility.

Brandi: So glad you understand my trials. lol I know the right moms will come my way in time. But like with any struggle or goal one strives for, it's always nice to see a little progress along the way. Even a little is enough to give someone the push they need to keep seeking better things.
Thanks for the push, everyone! :D

I'm there with you, but haven't done any births yet b/c I haven't put myself "out there" yet.... and haven't put myself "out there" b/c we only have one car! BUMMER.

Nevertheless, when I tell people what I am doing they look at me like I'm CRAZY. And btw, I am so glad you started this thread b/c after talking with my inlaws today about what I am going to be doing...I needed it. They just nodded their heads like, "uh huh, we'll see how this job turns out".

I feel like I have to switch gears to talk to most people. My in laws today had no idea why anyone would hire a doula. "Isn't that what the nurses and doctors are there for, to support the mother in labor?". To that I had to explain that although the nurses can do some support, they have other things to worry about and the doctors...well, we all know they come in at the end most of the time, and that I would be there to support the couple mentally and physically while the staff can do their job.

They still didn't get it...ugh. Nevermind she had her babies in the 60s and her dad was an ob/gyn. Totally different perspective here.

Then, when I talk to other pregnant moms or friends, all they want to know is that I have some darn piece of paper saying I'm certified. ugh. I know in some ways its good to have it. BUT, does a piece of paper make someone a good mechanic? a computer technician? a doctor? I don't want to get into that argument here....but what I am saying is I feel like I always have to justify myself and what I want to do, and then even when I make a fantastic argument for doulas (in a very calm way I might add), I still get the condescending nods. ARGH.

For now, I am just going to ignore and just start and hope to get my two births this year (yay! only two!). Hopefully word will spread and then I'll get going.

I would love to pick Paula Breaux's brain some more....hmmmm. That sounds like a GREAT meetup!!! Lafayette ladies, what do you think? OR maybe we can get her to come to the BR training session. (of which I might miss now :(.... )