Luella, my daughter only goes to sleep with my husband and I. Saturday night she was up until midnight because she will not go to sleep with anyone else and we didn't get home until after 11. I'm okay with this, but I think it's gonna be hard in labor. Either he'll have to leave me to lay down with her or I'll have to mange some how. Also, she sleeps with us in our room, where I plan to be. We do have a guest room my husband can try to get her down in.

Yea, that is exactly how it was in our house before I had Owen. Like I said that part was difficult because even with my husband there...if I'm there they just need me for sleeping. Instead of laying down I was on my hands and knees with my head on the sofa and arm around him because I simply could not lay on the bed.

Just follow your heart. Remember labor is just a day in our lives that is so much anticipated but quickly gone. Do what works best for you in the moment. You'll know. That's the thing about labor, it is completely consuming so you will do what you have to do and your daughter will be no worse for wear the next day. You will all grow through this experience together and be a bigger happier family thereafter (well at least most days!).

My children haven't been present for any births, but they will be for this home birth. They're all to ages of self-sufficiency, so I don't think the division of my attention will be an issue.

However, I think I can anticipate how they will react:

• Rocky (17) doesn't even like to hear the term "sanitary pad." I think he'll hibernate in his room.
  
• Priss (13) gets dizzy and nauseous if she sees a paper cut. She'll prefer to enter ex post facto.
  
• Bunny (12) chooses the Discovery Health channel over cartoons. She'll want to observe.
  
• Moe (10) is traumatized when her beloved plushies tear at the seams. She'll hang out with Priss.
  
• Squeak (8) will observe briefly out of curiosity, ask a couple questions, then go somewhere else so she can have some "peace and quiet."
  

I guess on the whole, they're an avoidant bunch, but after the baby's arrived, I'm sure they'll vie for front row seats. :)

At least you'll have some quiet time to focus. For the most part, my daughter (6) was fascinated and concerned, while my sons (10 and 8) were rather impressed. We decided at the last minute to let the 3 year old sleep until the baby was out. They all behaved excellently however.

They all behaved excellently however.

Thank goodness for that! I've never been a violent laborer, never cursed at anyone or hit anyone or lashed out in any way (I've heard horror stories, though). But I think if too many people needed my attention at that particular juncture in the birthing process, I might get a little mean. I might be the first mom to ground her kids while she's in labor! lol!

I think being honest and prepping our kids ahead of time is key. I also think you have to respect thier individual personalities and give them the opportunity to be present or not. It is a beautiful thing to witness birth, I think my son will carry with him the memory of his sisters birth forever. He still gleams when he talks about it. I think it will be a beautiful thing for Aralyn to hear about her own birth from her brothers perspective.

I think being honest and prepping our kids ahead of time is key. I also think you have to respect thier individual personalities and give them the opportunity to be present or not. It is a beautiful thing to witness birth, I think my son will carry with him the memory of his sisters birth forever. He still gleams when he talks about it. I think it will be a beautiful thing for Aralyn to hear about her own birth from her brothers perspective.

Beautiful indeed! That conversation will be a touching thing to witness....

I haven't dug around the archives yet, but I'd be interested to read everyone's experiences in prepping their older kids. I know some parents like to sit their kids down and have a deep discussion about it, and others like to touch on different aspects of it here and there over the course of time.

This will be a first for us, and I hadn't even thought far enough ahead to consider how I'm going to prep the others.

Wow! Good thoughts and stories from all! We just had our second on Jan 5th. Our daughter, Sierra, is also 2 years old and very attached to me. We just stopped nursing in July, when she was 2 months old. She had a very good understanding of everything while I was pregnant. I was having some blood pressure issues and was on bed rest for the last 3 weeks. My husband or Mom had to take my pressure twice a day. Since Sierra observed this she felt she also needed to check my pressure. She was very serious as she did this so it was adorable. She would hold my hand and tell me, "Don't worry Mommy you be alright," when anyone else would take it. We watched birth videos with her and everytime a baby was born she would say, "That baby Adam?".

We had every intention of her being in the room for his birth, but my Dad took her for some lunch and things got a little crazy/graphic in the delivery room while they were gone. Without going into alot of detail, the doctor had to try to turn him manually. Since I had no epidural or drugs, this would have been very hard for her to watch, not to mention the extra blood loss immediately following. I hope things go a little differently next time so Sierra and Adam can both be there. I agree that birth is a beautiful and natural part of life and if a sibling is interested, they should be allowed to be present. I also understand that every birth is different and things can change so quickly so it is important to be flexible. I really wanted Sierra to experience her brother's birth, but I think it may have more traumatic than beautiful for her, given the circumstances. Plus, there were so many people in the room she wouldn't have seen the actual birth, only adding to her distress about Mommy hurting. Contractions I can explain away to a two year old as I calmly breathe through them...the doctor half way inside while I am not so quiet...not so much. :-)

I posted about our birth experience in the thread I started when Leo was born--but I wanted to add here that Ingrid was present for labor and birth and it was an amazing experience. I really think that it has contributed to us having really no sibling/baby issues thus far (almost 3 wks) and I hope Ingrid keeps in her heart how gentle birth is. Although she's only 2 and so probably won't remember this when she grows up, I hope it has been imprinted in her.

I agree with what other told me--they are so in tune. Ingrid knew mama was working hard (thanks Amy--that's what i told her ahead of time and it really helped), that it might be loud and that I might even cry. She was so at ease with everything that happened, she was so peaceful all day. And my child that lives on my hip and in my lap didn't ask for me all day until Leo was actually being born. She knew he was coming and she joined us for his birth. Ingrid also doesn't sleep through anything EVER and she slept next to me while I labored loudly!

I think even at two they can still take that memory with them. Isaac was close to two and a half when Aralyn was born and he still remembers it vividly. We talk about it often and have watched the birth on video a couple times so he wont' forget.

And so true about it helping to create a close bond from birth. My biggest reason for wanting a homebirht was to avoid having to send Isaac away for three days to then come home to a new baby. I wanted it to be a very easy transition for him and by being home it certainly was. He completely understood that Aralyn was a part of our family and that she would not be going away. He never showed any signs of jealously after her birth, we had no issues with him acting out for months after the birth...of course now they have their spats but I can deal with it now.

I posted about our birth experience in the thread I started when Leo was born--but I wanted to add here that Ingrid was present for labor and birth and it was an amazing experience. I really think that it has contributed to us having really no sibling/baby issues thus far (almost 3 wks) and I hope Ingrid keeps in her heart how gentle birth is.

Yes, this. It drives me crazy how people ask if my not even two year old is 'jealous' of her little sister. I think our culture expects children to be jealous and thus they are - people tend to behave like people expect them to behave. Also the whole scenario where Mama goes away to have a baby and comes back with a new baby is probably scary for little kids. They might associate the new baby with Mama being away from them for long periods of time.

All three of ours (our two four year old sons and our 23 month old daughter) were present this time around for the birth of their little sister and it was so wonderful. My older daughter was right on the bed with me right after her new sister arrived. She has never been 'jealous' of my time with little Lucia. If anything, she wants to hold and touch and kiss her *all of the time*. Just this afternoon I was napping with the girls. I was going to lie in between them so they could both nurse to sleep, but Caterina insisted that Lucia be next to her. So Lucia was in the middle between Mama and her big sister. There's just oodles of love there and I believe it started at birth (or even before).

All of the kids have known right from the moment she appeared in our home that this new little gift is ours as a family, not just Mama's. We all love her to pieces and we all take care of her (obviously my part in taking care of her is the biggest right now because I have the breasts, hehe, but you know what I mean!) :)